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ACCPH. MNHS 

What Does Trauma Feel Like?

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This is a good question. What does trauma feel like? Over the years of practising as a trauma therapist I have seen a wide and varied list of symptoms that are as unique as the client themselves. Initially, they may present with anxiety, depression, addiction or chronic stress but scratch the surface and time and time again I find what I describe as “a difficulty with life”. Those of us who have suffered trauma so often feel life is too demanding, too hard, too stressful, too brutal, too disappointing, too lonely, too dull, too complex….


It’s almost as if life is a board game and nobody has explained the rules, just handed us a dice and said “play!”. We might then feel embarrassed we don’t know, or ashamed. Maybe we feel angry that nobody has explained, or sad and rejected - perhaps we just aren’t good enough to know.

And then, of course, the assumption that everybody else knows the rules the perfectly and we are the odd one out.


Trauma makes us feel different, and not in a good way. We struggle to accept ourselves, battle with chronic anxiety or depression and find so-called solutions to feel better or hide our feelings of low self-worth.

Addiction is one. Drugs, drink, food, work, stress (yes, I did say stress) or sex. Perfectionism is another. Holding impossibly high standards for ourselves in an effort to look like we have our sh** together but slowly burning out in the process.

People pleasing. Maybe if everyone is ok and their needs are being met I will feel better. Maybe if I say yes to everyone they will think I’m lovely and then I’ll think I’m lovely too. It never works. Exhaustion, resentment and abandoning our own needs for those of others just creates more misery.


If you feel like you are losing yourself under a heavy blanket of shame and stress it could be you are carrying some trauma. The exact symptoms will be unique to you so try to recognise what they are, see if you can identify what’s going on inside. If you can, give yourself a huge pat on the back because that is the first, and very important step, to healing.

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